Life Sentences

Did you know, by the time you were in kindergarten many of your self-beliefs were already in place? They could be positive and foster self-esteem, such as: I am creative. I am loved. I am responsible. Or limiting and negative: I am stupid. I am unwanted. I am a klutz.

Whether positive or negative, these "I AM" core beliefs held at the age of 5 or 6 can influence you throughout your entire life. They can be "Life Sentences."

It is critical to understand this because your thoughts lead you to certain actions, which then creates r e s u l t s.

Picture this. Two colleagues at work are given a challenging project. One holds the belief "I can learn what I want to learn." The other holds the beliefs "I am not good enough. I am a fraud." Who do you think will do better?

The learner will approach the project with excitement. She will be confident, assured and eager to begin. She is not afraid of asking questions, does not feel threatened by getting others involved or exploring ideas.

The one who believes he isn't good enough will act as if he isn't good enough. Since that belief is firmly rooted in his subconscious, he will tackle the project more apprehensively, perhaps procrastinate or be unwilling to ask for help in case he gets "found out." He will more likely interpret events in ways that are consistent with his belief of not being good enough. "There I go again, I knew I couldn't do it. That's just who I am." As time goes by, he'll continue to find ways of proving this to himself.

Although life sentences are formed early on, it's possible to grant yourself a reprieve. You can strengthen or weaken a life sentence by the attitudes you reflect not just to yourself, but to your children, loved ones and colleagues.

Every day we make hundreds of choices about what behaviors to notice. In any workplace or home setting you can choose to notice cooperation or uncooperation, initiative or procrastination, persistence or resignation, responsibility or irresponsibility.

So please, choose carefully when you decide what life sentences to pass onto yourself or others. Make sure it's a life you'd want to live.

Do the Try It Out exercises below to help you consciously choose your life sentences

• What Life Sentences do you carry around with you now?
• What Life Sentences have you passed onto your colleagues, your family and friends?
• Determine a challenging situation, action or decision you’ve been putting off and ask yourself what life sentences will be most helpful in what you need to achieve.
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“When you change the way you look at things…the things you look at change.”

-Wayne Dyer